Last post: 1st of Septembre 2007, night
It was more then a year and I still cannot get through the whole
thing in a sense that I could explain (neither for myself nor to
anybody else) what has happened and why and what comes after without
feeling too bad about it so that I can't finish the story. Well,
anyway, in time I am after it, and still alive and spending my time
with different stuff, and regularly thinking about the 'project' I
was working on, and other projects I was planning to work out. Those
things I'm not into any more, but I want to work out the reasons of
it, that is a theoretical work, and in the same time I try to
get rid of every work that is only theoretical and has no practical
results, and only comprehensible for theoreticians.
summarize it rashly: I had lot of different ideas about urban space,
"project concepts" I would say. One of these, that was the
bombsite gardening, we started to realize in the framework and with
the help of the EASA006 (European Architect Student Assembly in
2006). We got a bombsite in the 8th district of Budapest, that is
under social reconstruction (in a strange way, I couldn't tell if
this social development is really for the local people or just partly
for them, partly for gentrification, but the local authorities want
to look like if they had tried to help just it didn't work that much
with most of the people... For example if you try to communicate with
local community but you don't even try to use their way of
communication, just you bring there your one (that is to say
institutional anyway cause you are an institution or a person
representing an institution) and wait for an answer. And you're
surprised when there's no answer or if there is, it's refusal.
answer we got was total refusal and it they made it understandable
for the foreigners too, cause they (it was just one woman, though
most of them liked us) were shouting 'Go away and if I see you again
here I will put my knife in you!'. I was because we weren't careful
and responsible enough. We were throwing balloons filled with paint
on a firewall, the children enjoyed it very much but of course they
got painty everywhere. And the paint was waterproof (we wanted the
wall to stay colourful) and one could only clean himself with
attenuative (some chemical whatever) that is dangerous for health if
you have to use a lot and you breath it in.
partly my fault because I let the participants of my workshop to go
their own way, they were working in groups, I wasn't paying attention
on each of them and stopping them when I wasn't sure if everything
will be okay.
paint-balling event was the first thing which our workshop wanted to
do in practice. So we didn't realise anything of our plans, and the
people there, who trusted us, collected the rubbish with us, they
didn't get anything from us, though most of them were enthusiastic...
What a pity...
bigger trauma for me was that I wasn't doing the workshop alone, I
worked together with a friend, who is a land-architect. And who said
afterwards that I am too radical and I shouldn't act this way with
the participants (like suggesting things that are not usual enough,
though they are not even illegal at all...) Since that we don't talk
each other anymore, she went to work for a bank...
the trauma itself: when the woman was shouting at us, there were at
least like fifty people from EASA, the participants from our workshop
and some other people who wanted to watch the event. 5-10 people were
speaking Hungarian. No one of them answered, they mingled with the
english-speaker crowd as if they wouldn't understand what the woman
was shouting. I head to deal with the children, the woman, the other
local people, and then with the police all by myself, and in the same
time calling our contact (sunday afternoon) from the local government
to prove that we have a permission to be there... It was horrible.
And the reason behind it was the problem of responsibility.
behind that probably the problem is alienation, modernity,
project-mentality. A project has a start and an end, it's out of
context, the continuity of projects has no connection with space and
time, or if it has it not natural space and time but it's mixed up.
that was the story of Óvis program. That was the end of it.
was the start of something else.
delete this website, but I hope I will add things to it. I don't want
to deny my past, because this is what lead to what I am now, and how
I think about the same problems and see new problems hidden behind
the symptoms with what NGOs and other movements trying to deal with.
is to solve problems that are behind these symptoms. It's a hard work
cause for that I (we) have to abolish every border, working time,
states, markets, capitalism, exchange value, intellectualism (that is
the superiority and closedness of knowledge), alienation, modernity,
hierarchy, any kind of 'ism' and so on. So it will take a long time
and it needs a horizontal cooperation with a lot of people.
myself alone in this work, the Hungarian revolutionary subculture is
either reformist (deals with the symptoms) and make a lot of
compromises with companies and governmental institutions, either
thinking in fractions and don't even talk with each other because
they can't agree on some stupid details.
same time I don't have a place to live and I decided that I won't
work just to reproduce my manpower and working time, so like if I
would work for money just to pay a rent in order to have a calm place
where I can have a rest between two working days. It's a hard
decision cause I don't know what's gonna happen if I won't be able to
reproduce not just my manpower but any kind of power that is
necessary for revolutionary activities too... So I'm quite afraid,
how am I gonna live through this period of my life and how can I deal
with free-riding. (Free-riding is something like easy-riding but free
is more difficult than easy...) I need a room/flat/house for free or
for very-very little money, and have to get food for free. Clothes I
can already get for free. There is a lot of leftover all around
Europe: empty houses, non-sold food in supermarkets and restaurants,
used objects like clothes and other things that are necessary for
can be easier where it has been already organised a bit. Like in a
place where there is already a Food Not Bombs collective, that goes
to get leftover food and gives it away for homeless people and the
why I'm planning to move out from Hungary... I feel alone with my
struggle, cause a lot of people left Hungary (cause they felt alone
with their struggle...) and I was angry on them because of it, and
now I'm doing the same so the next generation (that is just finishing
secondary school nowadays) can be angry on me, cool.
will upload some text I am working on. About ReDistro, Do It Ourself
concept, about the First Question Mark International and about the
Bourdieuist Action Group.
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